Why I Kept Telling Myself It Could Be Worse — and Why That Comparison Kept Me Stuck
Gratitude became a way to look away.
Every time doubt crept in, I reminded myself it could be worse.
My kids weren’t hospitalized. They weren’t visibly ill. They were still functioning.
That comparison felt grounding — even responsible.
I told myself that because it wasn’t extreme, it didn’t require action.
Comparing my kids to worse outcomes didn’t bring clarity — it softened my concern.
Why “It Could Be Worse” Feels Reassuring
Perspective can calm fear.
It reminds us that things aren’t catastrophic, that life is still moving forward.
For me, that comparison helped regulate my own anxiety — even as the pattern continued.
Gratitude can quiet alarm without answering questions.
Feeling grateful didn’t mean the situation was supportive — it meant I was coping.
When Comparison Replaces Observation
I stopped asking whether my kids felt well.
I asked whether they were worse than someone else.
This mindset fit neatly with the idea that they didn’t seem sick enough to act, something I later unpacked in why my kids didn’t seem sick enough to act.
Comparison shifts the focus away from the child in front of you.
Relative suffering obscured absolute strain.
Why This Comparison Delayed My Response
As long as things weren’t the worst-case scenario, I felt justified in waiting.
No emergency meant no urgency.
This reinforced the same waiting loop I described in why I thought time would fix things.
Waiting feels safer when you can point to something worse.
Comparison gave me a reason to pause instead of a reason to look closer.
How Contrast Changed the Comparison
The comparison that finally mattered wasn’t to other families.
It was to my own kids — in different places.
Away from home, they softened. At home, they endured.
This mirrored the clarity I found in why my kids’ symptoms quieted when we left the house.
The most useful comparison is before and after.
Watching my kids feel better elsewhere reframed what “fine” actually meant.
What Shifted When I Stopped Measuring Against “Worse”
I didn’t stop feeling grateful.
I stopped using gratitude as a reason to ignore discomfort.
I let my kids’ lived experience become the reference point.
Something doesn’t have to be the worst to deserve attention.
Letting go of comparison helped me respond without fear or guilt.