When Letting Go of a Space Was Part of Healing
Understanding why release can sometimes create more safety than repair
Letting go wasn’t a decision I made quickly.
It came after effort, patience, and a long stretch of hoping the space would eventually feel neutral.
“I kept waiting for permission to leave — until I realized my body had already decided.”
The idea that leaving could be part of healing felt counterintuitive.
This didn’t mean the house was bad — it meant staying required more from me than it gave back.
Why Letting Go Can Feel Like Failure at First
I had invested so much into making the space work.
Time, money, and belief were tied up in the idea of staying.
“Walking away felt like erasing all the effort that came before.”
This made it hard to see letting go as anything other than loss.
I had already been wrestling with this when I realized some homes aren’t recoverable for certain bodies, something I reflected on in Why Some Homes Aren’t Recoverable for Certain Bodies.
How the Body Signals It’s Done Negotiating
What changed wasn’t a single symptom or event.
It was the constant effort required just to exist in the space.
“I realized I was spending energy to tolerate the house instead of living in it.”
This recognition came quietly.
And once it arrived, it was hard to unsee.
Why Letting Go Created More Capacity Than Staying
After leaving, nothing dramatic happened.
What changed was the absence of strain.
“My body didn’t suddenly heal — it finally stopped defending.”
This mirrored what I had noticed earlier when leaving the environment was the only thing that helped.
I had written about that clarity in When Leaving the Environment Was the Only Thing That Helped.
What Letting Go Taught Me About Healing
Healing didn’t require me to win against the environment.
It required me to stop asking my body to endure what it couldn’t settle into.
“Letting go wasn’t the end of healing — it was the beginning of ease.”
This reframing allowed me to hold the decision without regret.
It wasn’t about giving up — it was about choosing compatibility.