Detox and Recovery

I still had feelings — I just had less room for them. Indoors, emotional capacity felt narrower, like everyday interactions used up more of me than they used to.

I wanted to relax. I created the space. I slowed down. And still, my body stayed braced — not anxious exactly, just unable to drop. It took time to realize that relaxation wasn’t a mindset problem if my environment was still asking my system to stay alert.

Indoors, my body never fully dropped its weight. Even when I was still, it felt like I was hovering just above rest, never quite settling into the space around me.

Indoors, I could be physically present and still feel like part of me hadn’t arrived. My body functioned — but my sense of being here stayed just out of reach.

Indoors, I was physically present — but my body stayed just outside the moment. It felt like I hadn’t fully arrived yet, even when I never left.

Indoors, my body stayed paused — not anxious, not tense, just quietly waiting. It felt like something needed to happen before I could fully settle, even when nothing was actually coming.

Indoors, nothing felt overtly wrong — yet my body never fully leaned into the moment. It stayed subtly restrained, as if it couldn’t give itself completely to rest or presence there.

Indoors, rest never felt complete. Even in quiet moments, my body stayed subtly alert — as if it needed to keep watch, just in case.

Indoors, rest never felt complete. Even in quiet moments, my body stayed subtly alert — as if it needed to keep watch, just in case.

Indoors, my body slowed — but it never committed. It hovered in a quiet indecision, as if resting felt possible, but not quite permitted.