Detox and Recovery

At the time, nothing connected. Symptoms appeared without warning, disappeared without explanation, and left me feeling confused — until I stopped looking at moments and started looking at patterns.

I wasn’t thinking fearful thoughts — yet my body reacted first. Indoors, responses showed up before awareness, leaving me confused about why my system felt so activated without a clear reason.

Nothing dramatic was happening — but my body never fully relaxed inside. The tension wasn’t fear or anticipation. It was a quiet, constant readiness I couldn’t turn off.

I didn’t stop wanting connection — I stopped having the capacity for it indoors. Conversations felt heavier at home, while outside I could engage without effort or strain.

I didn’t feel like a different person everywhere — only inside. The shift wasn’t dramatic, but it was consistent enough to make me wonder why I felt more like myself the moment I changed environments.

I didn’t feel sad or hopeless — I felt muted. Indoors, my emotions flattened in a way that quietly lifted the moment I changed environments.

I didn’t lose focus everywhere — I lost it inside. Thoughts scattered, tasks stalled, and clarity felt unreachable until I stepped into a different environment.

It wasn’t burnout or depression the way I understood it. Motivation didn’t vanish everywhere — it vanished indoors, and that distinction changed how I understood what my body was responding to.

Conflict didn’t feel bigger at home — it just lingered longer. Even after things were resolved, my body stayed unsettled indoors in a way it never did outside.

Little things didn’t just bother me at home — they multiplied. What felt manageable elsewhere turned into overwhelm indoors, and the pattern kept repeating no matter how calm I tried to stay.