Why ERMI Results Felt Heavier Before They Felt Helpful (And Why That Phase Didn’t Mean I Was Regressing)
Understanding arrived before steadiness — and that order surprised me.
There was a point when ERMI felt harder than it had at the beginning.
I had more knowledge, more context, and more familiarity — yet the information felt heavier instead of lighter.
For a while, I worried that meant I was moving in the wrong direction.
I thought clarity was supposed to feel calming right away.
This didn’t mean ERMI was harming me — it meant I was in the middle of integration, not at the end of it.
Why ERMI Can Feel Harder After You Understand It Better
Once I stopped misunderstanding ERMI, I started noticing more.
Patterns, nuance, and limitations became clearer — and that awareness carried weight.
Knowing more didn’t mean I knew what to do with it yet.
This was especially true after learning what an ERMI test actually measures and realizing how much history dust can hold.
How Increased Understanding Can Temporarily Increase Emotional Load
As my understanding deepened, my tolerance hadn’t caught up yet.
I could explain the report clearly — but my nervous system still reacted.
Comprehension arrived before regulation.
This echoed what I noticed when ERMI started feeling more alarming simply because I was paying closer attention, not because the results had changed.
Why This Phase Looked Like Regression From the Inside
From the inside, it felt like I was getting worse.
The same information that once felt manageable now stirred more questions and sensations.
It felt like going backward, even though I wasn’t.
This was the same misunderstanding that showed up when ERMI results didn’t line up with my symptoms right away, something I reflected on in why ERMI results didn’t line up with my symptoms.
What Helped Me Realize This Was a Middle Phase, Not an Endpoint
Over time, I noticed that the heaviness didn’t keep increasing.
It plateaued — and then slowly softened.
The intensity wasn’t permanent — it was transitional.
This mirrored what happened when ERMI results eventually began to feel more trustworthy over time instead of destabilizing.
Why ERMI Became Useful Only After This Phase Passed
Once my nervous system caught up to my understanding, ERMI information changed again.
The same data felt supportive instead of heavy.
Helpfulness arrived after integration, not before.
This was when ERMI stopped feeling like something I had to brace against and started feeling like context I could hold.
Questions I Had During This Heavier Phase
Does feeling worse mean ERMI is harming you?
In my experience, no. It often meant understanding was ahead of regulation.
Is this phase avoidable?
For me, it seemed to be part of learning — not a mistake.