When things finally leveled out, I noticed something unsettling.

Days passed without flare-ups. Weeks went by without major setbacks.

And still, I waited.

I kept expecting the moment everything would fall apart again.

Each calm stretch felt provisional, like it was borrowing time.

This didn’t mean my body sensed danger — it meant it was still orienting around a past pattern.

Why My Body Expected the Other Shoe to Drop

During exposure, stability never lasted.

Good days were often followed by sudden crashes, without warning.

My nervous system learned to associate improvement with reversal.

Every calm stretch had taught my body to brace.

This made sense after everything I explored in why things going well made me nervous.

The body predicts the future using the past it survived.

How Anticipation Replaced Actual Symptoms

As symptoms faded, anticipation took their place.

I scanned my energy levels. I checked my thoughts. I watched for subtle shifts.

Not because something was wrong — but because something used to be.

I was responding to memory, not reality.

This echoed patterns I had already described in why I kept scanning my environment for danger.

When threat disappears, expectation can become the new signal.

Why Waiting for a Crash Felt Safer Than Trusting Stability

Trusting stability felt risky.

If I believed things were truly okay, a crash would feel devastating.

Staying guarded felt like emotional insurance.

I thought bracing would protect me from disappointment.

This mindset built naturally from why I didn’t trust good days.

Anticipation can feel protective even when it’s no longer necessary.

The Moment I Realized the Pattern Had Changed

What shifted wasn’t a dramatic realization.

It was the quiet noticing that nothing happened.

No crash. No spiral. No sudden reversal.

The absence of collapse slowly became its own evidence.

This connected deeply to why confidence didn’t return right away.

Safety becomes believable through repetition, not reassurance.

FAQ

Is it normal to expect a setback after recovery?
Yes. Many people anticipate relapse when past improvement was unreliable.

Does waiting for a crash mean I don’t trust my healing?
Not exactly. It often means your body hasn’t updated its expectations yet.