There came a point when the external threats were gone.

The exposure was addressed. The symptoms were quieter. The constant crisis had passed.

And yet, I stayed braced.

Relaxing felt more dangerous than staying alert.

I didn’t understand why my body wouldn’t stand down.

This didn’t mean I believed something bad was happening — it meant my nervous system hadn’t updated its definition of safety yet.

Why Vigilance Had Become Automatic

For a long time, vigilance had protected me.

Noticing patterns. Catching early signs. Making small adjustments before things escalated.

Staying alert had worked.

My body learned that awareness equaled survival.

This pattern connected closely to what I explored in why I kept scanning my environment for danger.

The body doesn’t abandon strategies that once kept it alive without proof.

How Safety Felt Abstract Instead of Real

I could logically see that things were better.

But safety hadn’t been experienced yet.

It was a concept, not a felt state.

Knowing I was safe wasn’t the same as feeling safe.

This mirrored what I described in why my body didn’t trust that it was safe yet.

Safety becomes real through lived repetition, not intellectual certainty.

Why Letting My Guard Down Felt Like Tempting Fate

If I relaxed, would I miss something?

If I stopped monitoring, would I be caught off guard?

Staying vigilant felt like insurance.

Lowering my guard felt like inviting relapse.

This fear aligned closely with what I shared in why I felt like I had to protect my progress.

The nervous system often confuses vigilance with responsibility.

The Shift That Let My Guard Lower on Its Own

What helped wasn’t forcing relaxation.

It was noticing that nothing bad happened when I softened a little.

Safety proved itself quietly.

My body relaxed when it realized it didn’t have to be in charge anymore.

Guardedness fades when safety repeats without consequence.

FAQ

Is it normal to feel guarded even after recovery?
Yes. Many people remain vigilant long after the original threat has passed.

Does staying guarded mean I’m not actually safe?
No. It usually means your nervous system hasn’t updated yet.